How to Not Fight With Family Especially During the Holidays

When you think about the holiday season are you filled with Joy and Excitement or Fear and overwhelm? Most likely you are experiencing a mixture of those feelings due to past experiences and uncertainty of what may happen.  Would you believe there are 4 simple things you can do in order to have a more peaceful holiday with your family?  Each of the ideas below can be implemented independently, and you will see some peace and if you implement all of the steps you will see the best results.




1. What Experience Are You Manifesting?

Right now you are manifesting your reality for the present and future by focusing your attention on something in particular.  If you are focusing on what you do not what that is what you will get; however if you focus on what you want that is what will happen.  In psychology, it’s described as increasing your attention to an idea and that will heighten your awareness of any experience already occurring.   It is also an example of Law Of Attraction by bringing into your reality where you focus your attention.



2. Set some Boundaries

Boundaries are a clear set of guidelines that must be communicated confidently.  The very first step is knowing what you want as your specific boundaries which may be different from person to person.  Take some time to reflect on how you want to be treated and take it a step further and create a clear reason why you deserve and want to be treated that way.  Once you know your boundaries, it is your job to communicate your expectations and defend your boundaries.  If this is the first time you are setting boundaries with your friends and family it will take some work and patience on your part as they learn the new way you want to be treated.  It is always best to have a conversation with the people you care about to set your expectations and ask them about their boundaries and always lead with love.



3. Don’t be a Control Freak

Releasing control over another person’s behavior is a very liberating experience.  We all complete processes differently and usually the same result can be achieved especially when it comes to cooking during the holidays.  When you worry about how others do something or think that no one can do it as well as you at that moment, you are giving away your power.  If someone else’s behaviors dictate your happiness that is a sign you have given away some of your light and energy to another person.

This year focus on staying in the present moment and enjoy your friends and family.  If you find yourself want to redo anything or correct someone takes a moment to pause and ask yourself:

“Is their way causing any harm?”

“Will a similar result be achieved to the way I would do it?”

“Will I take away some of their happiness by correctly them?”

And lastly…”Is it more important to be right or to have a relationship?”



4. The Secret Weapon Meditation

To “Wash the Dishes” you focus on your breath and connect with your body.  After you take a few inhales and exhales pick up a dish to wash and start washing a dish.  While you are cleaning the dish, notice what color it is, how the soap feels, how your feet feel below you, and notice everything that is occurring at that moment.  Take your time washing the dishes and allow yourself to be present in the moment and grateful for the opportunity to connect.  If you feel bored, happy, angry, or another emotion allows yourself to feel that emotion without placing judgment on it.  After all the dishes are washed, you can leave the dishes to dry on a drying rack or complete the exercise again with drying the dishes.

Above we looked at paying attention to your thoughts to see what you are manifesting, setting and defending boundaries, releasing control and going with the flow, and washing the dishes meditation. These four processes could be implemented in your home, at a party, or even in the workplace.  Each one offers an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself.  Experiment and notice if these come comfortable or if you require more practice to make these behaviors more natural and innate.    Always focus on bringing more love into your life with any personal development practice and ease into these methods.