Most likely you have encountered at least one if not a few narcissistic people in your life. They exude confidence, grandiose behaviors, and put others down to feel better about themselves. It is also essential to mention being narcissistic does not always mean you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

 

Defining Narcissist Personality Disorder

Narcissist Personality Disorder paraphrased from the DSM-5 is defined as exaggerated self-opinion, attention seeking, goal-setting based on getting approval from others, standards are unreasonably high, impaired empathy towards others, mainly superficial intimacy, and grandiose behaviors.  The only person who can diagnose is a trained professional so if you think there is a problem speak with one.

A true Narcissist should present at least a few of these traits, but a jerk could demonstrate these too.

7 Traits of Narcissism

Mr. or Ms. Center of Attention

This is the easiest way to spot a Narcissist; they love to talk about themselves.  Just listen to how much they speak about themselves in relation to other things and people.  Often a talented narcissist will be aware of their condition and will lure you in but focusing on you at the beginning of the relationship, but over time it always goes back to them talking about themselves.  Their conversations usually revolve around luxury living, expensive cars and homes, being superior to others, and materialism with the intent of making others feel inferior. Also, Narcissist enjoy gambling because they get to be the center of attention, get instant gratification, feel superior to others, and be inconsistent all at the same time.

Mr. or Ms. I am Better Than You

We have all meet that person who has to one-up every little thing even the stuff that does not matter.  At first, this is attractive because you think you are dating a winner but you soon learn everything is a competition.  This trait becomes annoying, and over time it becomes a pattern of having to be the center of attention and attempting to make others feel inferior.

Mr. or Ms. Rule Breaker

They feel entitled to special treatment and often ask others to bend or break the rules for them.  This is a power play to make them feel important and superior. You can easily spot this behavior with how they treat service individuals with or without respect. If he or she is rude to service people that is a sign they may become that way with you in the future. Rule breaking is also an indicator of being entitled which is another Narcissist trait.

Mr. or Ms. Entitled

This is not to be confused with the entitled behaviors that we like to blame for being American or young. I am one of those Millennials, and I believe I deserve it, and I also work for it. There is a vast difference between thinking something is owed to you and assuming you have the ability to obtain something extraordinary.  A Narcissist believes that rules, standards, and procedures do not apply to them.

Mr. or Ms. Manipulator

They will charm, flirt, and seduce their way into the heart of their partner often playing dirty to get an infatuation started.  Narcissists are not capable of genuine intimacy and therefore will play different roles to get what they want out of a person. Being charming and having charisma is good it is when you use those skills to take things from others it is manipulation.

Mr. or Ms. Inconsistent

They have a pattern of not following through and being inconsistent with their behavior.  One minute they are comforting you and the next they are nowhere to be found with no notice of leaving.  Broken promises and not following through with verbal commitments is a problem for a Narcissist. You may be involved with a Narcissist if you notice a difference between what they say and do.

Mr. or Ms. Instant Gratification

This one can be misleading because wanting it now is a common problem among a lot of people. Narcissists are self-absorbed and believe they deserve things before other people. They will pressure you to get their way; this could be as innocent-seeming as responding to a text message to as intrusive as a sexual act.  There is nothing off limits to the instant gratification needs of a Narcissist. Test the waters and say no to a request and how he or she responds. A Narcissist usually reacts with anger, childish behavior, irritability, or impatience and rarely responds with compassion and understanding.

Many of these qualities alone do not mean someone is a Narcissist it is the intent and the collective behaviors that could indicate the person presents Narcissist Personality Disorder.  A true Narcissist does not care if they hurt another person and are primarily interested in only self-preservation and self-gain.

You believe you are stuck in a relationship with a Narcissist you are not alone and if you want to get out you have the power to do so.  The first step is the awareness and the step second is to take action to get out of the relationship.

Reference:
http://www.nyu.edu/gsas/dept/philo/courses/materials/Narc.Pers.DSM.pdf



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