Self-Sabotage: Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

Are you self-sabotaging yourself?

Hey guys, it’s Emily from Mind Love Body. Let’s take a look at the nasty thing a lot of us do…self-sabotage. If you don’t know what self-sabotage is the easiest way to define it is when you get in your own way and prevent yourself from achieving the results you want.  Basically, you are working against yourself.

Are you overcommitting?

Over-committing is a true link wanting to fail or an inability to succeed. I know this sounds crazy, who would want to fail? The fact of the matter is, when you’re overcommitting you’re setting yourselves up for failure because you are putting yourself in a lose-lose situation.  If you hit your goals, it will come at the cost of your well-being or the well-being of others.  If you do not achieve your goals, you will still hurt yourself and possibly others.

Do You Ask For Help?

Do you know that you need help and you do not ask for help?  There are many reasons we do not ask for help from fear that no one will help to believe others can not do it as well.  Can you relate to feeling stuck for a while and you know that by merely reaching out to a mentor or getting the extra help you would be in a better spot?  

A great example of this is, I’m really exhausted and I require more time to finish a project, and the home is getting really unkempt.  An obsession happens with cleaning the house and doing the laundry which prevents the project to be completed.  A super simple solution is to send out the laundry and hire somebody to clean the house.  This solution allows you to complete the project by delegating out some of the work and this also sets you up for success.

Be true to yourself, your strengths, and your responsibilities delegate out what you can to stay focused on the areas you are strong. When you are able to admit to yourself when you require help and ask for help in the right areas you will find you are able to focus and succeed more often.

Are you a Perfectionist?

When you’re a perfectionist, you think that you can do everything better than everyone else. Well, guess what? Even if you can do it better than everyone else that may not be the best place for you to be focusing your attention.  Perfectionism will prevent you from being efficient and handling a more considerable amount of work.  If you are repeatedly redoing projects that others did not do well, you will be preventing yourself from long-term success.

Self-sabotage has so many different faces but what it comes down to is you have your specific brand of self-sabotage, we all have it. We all do things that are going to be making us not succeed, it’s a question of how often you’re doing it and how willing you are to look at yourself and start working on those areas where you are setting yourself up for failure.

The way to eliminate self-sabotage starts with becoming self-aware of your thoughts and actions.

What can you do right now?

Start with becoming aware.  Take out a journal and ask yourself these questions when you are getting in your own way:

Journal

Am I afraid to receive?

Why do I say YES and overcommit?

Why am I not following through?

What am I afraid of with succeeding?

Why won’t I say no?

All of the responses are linked to fear.  Fear you will not get what you want or fear you will lose something you have.

Get Honest With Yourself

Next, get freaking honest with yourself and admit to the fact that you can’t do it all.  And if it fits your situation admit to the fact that you are not living up to your given abilities and you’re acting lazy. Let’s face it, you’re either doing too much, or you’re being lazy. Guess what? You might be overworked right now, but you’re still being lazy because you’re focusing on all the wrong areas.

Adjust Your Focus

When you’re honest with yourself, you’ll start to realize where you should be focusing your attention. Once you start focusing your attention on the right places you’re going to know how to create a plan, so it’s getting honest, creating a plan, getting focused.

The Right Support Network

Then, most, most, most, most, most importantly have an actual support network that works.  You may have a really great, wonderful group of people right now supporting you or whatever else but if you are still sabotaging that means you’re missing something somewhere, so you need to expand your network.  Have a support network is required because along with the support they will also call you on your BS.  This is not a maybe, it’s a must. If you want to move forward and you’ve been stuck in the same place for a year or even a day, there’s a chance that what you’re getting and the information you’re putting in your mind is not satisfying you in the way it needs to.

Go ahead, get honest with yourself, create a good plan. Get focused and then surround yourself with people who are actually doing what you want to do and who are able to give you advice. Stop wasting your time asking for advice from somebody who has a completely and totally different life plan than you, that’s another form of self-sabotage.  

If you are searching for a great group of women to become your support network, you should check out The Sisterhood by going here http://mindlovebody.com/sisterhood/